We have been observing you for some time and finally decided to venture over to your puny little planet to learn more about your species.
By this time you have probably discovered our existence through these UFO reports which have ‘gone public’ thanks to your Supreme Leader: Dolan Trump. Or is it the old man in charge now? We took a quick bathroom break and missed some of the action.
We’ve been watching your kind for a while; we see you brush your teeth, take cats as pets as though you’re superior to them (how ironic) but most importantly we’ve been watching your cryptocurrency markets and seeing you all dream of going to the moon. We have decided that when we take over your little planet, we will be adopting a new kind cryptocurrency called $UFO. I would suggest stocking up on this currency as this is what you will need in future to buy sushi, socks and cake. Those of you holding the most $UFO coins upon our takeover will be able to avoid eternal enslavement and can party with us on big-boy spaceship.
Why go to the moon when you can go to Mars?
See you soon puny earthlings,
The Aliens 👽︎☮︎
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